High school
“Breathe,” she told me. She could tell I was nervous. I’d never done this before. She grabbed my hand to try to ease my anxiety.
I could feel the hairs on my skin rise as I lie back on the bed. The firm mattress turned into mush. I could no longer feel my body. Couldn’t feel my face. The walls around me disappeared and the bed vanished. Then came the colors. So vivid as they flashed before me. With my eyes wide I fixated on the electrifying changes of hues. Shapes formed. Lines appeared. Everything in my view morphed rapidly as whispering voices echoed through my ears vibrating their drums. Intense emotions flooded my sensory system. I experienced pure euphoria that was almost equivalent to the build up right before a climax. I was there on the peak of it.
But this pleasure didn’t last long. Just as quickly as I reached this high the colors faded and I began to plummet into darkness. The pit of my stomach turned and my internal organs pushed upward. Sweat covered my face. Bitterness spread over my tongue.
The walls began to reappear along with everything else around me. Reality set in. I found myself sitting on the side of her bed with my head over the trash. More purpose to life soaked into my brain as I heaved into the plastic can.